Community Guidelines
Click Here for Play Party Specific Guidelines
How do we define QTBIPOC?
QTIBIPOC stands for Queer, Trans, Intersex, Black, Indigenous, People Of Color. For our events, this means you must fulfill one of the identifiers from both the QTI and the BIPOC identities. White-passing queer people of color aren’t QTIBIPOC though how an individual identifies is not policed by Obsidian Leadership.
What is our policy on allies?
All white individuals are referred to as allies. Some of our events allow for sponsored allies. This is to allow a QTIBIPOC person to bring a partner, play partner, or friend to an event that is not QTIBIPOC. The sponsor is 100% responsible for the conduct of the sponsored ally. These allies will never exceed 10% of event attendance. Even if we are allowing white allies into the spaces, we generally never allow straight people into any of our spaces. The only exceptions is when straight people are serving a very specific and volunteer based service role or they are attending an event that is specifically for fundraising (which will be publicly announced).
OUR SPACE
Honor the land you are on and the space you are taking up. Obsidian is grateful to currently have queer indigenous folx on leadership. Obsidian will strive to always be led by Black and Indigenous queers.
No Anti-Blackness. Obsidian is led by and will always be led by queer Black folx. While it is unfortunately likely for anti-Blackness to exist in POC spaces, we are committed to holding ourselves and our people accountable. Anti-Blackness should be addressed and learned from. Lack of growth/understanding of Anti-Blackness will not be tolerated.
Center and commitment to accessibility. Obsidian is led by and will always be led by disabled and chronically ill queer and trans BIPOC. We are constantly working to improve our accessibility strategies.
Center Queer, Trans and Intersex BIPOC. Obsidian defines ourselves as an organization for and by QTIBIPOC. Obsidian was founded by Smoky and Aunjel, who are Black/queer and Black/queer/trans (respectively). Obsidian will always be led by QTIBIPOC.
Center BIPOC sex workers. Obsidian is and will always be lead by BIPOC sex workers (current or former). Obsidian prioritizes hiring BIPOC sex workers, and keeping a low-income tiered ticket specifically for BIPOC sex workers.
ACCOUNTABILITY
Take care of yourself! You do not have to attend everything, do everything or be everywhere.
We are always open to feedback on any topic. Our job is to serve the community. We make changes based on our evaluations of the needs and requests of the community. See the link at the top of the page for our feedback form.
When offering critical feedback, do so with the belief that people can change; when receiving critical feedback, listen to others with a willingness to change.
Default to direct communication before a public “call-out”. We are happy to support those inter-personal direct communication, but do not offer mediation services/support as we are not trained to do so.
If you are not respecting the space, Obsidian Leadership may approach you and ask that you make a change, including leaving the space entirely. Please expect that if you do not respect the space, the community or a member (especially if you are an ally) you may be excluded from all future Obsidian events.
FINANCE
All events will have a pay-what-you-can option for queer/trans BIPOC, even if it is not advertised.
Obsidian has always and will always be led by volunteers. Obsidian Leadership/Organizers have never, and will never make money from work they do within a leadership/organizer role for Obsidian. This excludes Obsidian Leadership members who additionally might facilitate/teach, perform or vend for an event.
Obsidian will do our best to pay an equitable wage. Obsidian strives to pay all queer/trans BIPOC facilitators/educators, performers, vendors, etc. their standard fee, given what is possible for Obsidian at the time.
Overall, Obsidian strives to keep tickets for queer/trans BIPOC as low as possible, or else tiered for accessibility, while investing the money Obsidian collects in future QTBIPOC kink and sex-positive community building.
Any QTBIPOC who volunteers for an event will be granted entry to that event free of charge.
SAFETY
Consent is always a priority. Consent must always asked when you interact with someone in a new way, specifically physically. Always ask permission to photograph or record anyone.
Respect people’s identities. Ask, don’t assume, and do gently correct others.
Read the room. Make an informed decision of your privilege/identities before engaging in spaces. Always ask Obsidian leadership if you need guidance.
Do NOT publicly out anyone. Our events and parties should be private spaces, and those who were not there should not be privileged to what they missed.
Prioritize Survivors especially trans femme BIPOC and femme BIPOC. We deal with breach of consent on a case-by-case basis, approaching each situation from an abolitionist, transformative justice lens. We believe that public call-outs are a last option when nothing else has worked.